Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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