2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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