i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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