Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize