maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
