she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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