Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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