Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize