super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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