What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
