I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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