we're blogging at a bar
Your face is a jimmy john
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize