Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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