2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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