Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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