Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
