She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
