dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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