All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
