His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
