i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
