He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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