Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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