your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
