on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
