I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
