Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
