I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
