there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
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Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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