My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize