grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
