i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
