my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
