just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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