this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She even gives head with a lisp.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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