the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
