I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
