I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
