you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
