She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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