I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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