So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
