Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
