yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
