Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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