New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
