My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"it" just moved
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
