Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
