grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
