Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
