why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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