your room smells of hookers.
And success
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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