OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
