Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
