I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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