when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
