all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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