areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
