SEEEEXXX PLEASE
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
