can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
