remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize