i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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