I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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