I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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