mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
