Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
